The Problem With Healing

It doesn't matter what disease/sickness you have. Cancer, Diabetes, even just your run of the mill Kidney Infection. Your body needs time to heal.

Sometimes you heal very quickly. Other times it takes awhile.

"He said to her "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from suffering."" - Mark 5:34

Oh, how I wish Jesus would speak these words to me. I wish He would knock on my door, dirty feet and long unwashed hair. I would invite Him in. I would lead him to my bar, serve him chilled water with fresh lemon and lime. I would pull out last nights leftovers and feed Him. And then I would beg Him. Beg Him to take away the suffering of the world. Beg Him to take the suffering away from my husband and daughters. Beg Him to take my suffering. Selfishly.

You see, this rut I'm in, you don't just heal "overnight." No, I can't take antibiotics, and no medication will help me. In fact, I'm trying to cleanse my body of all medications (except for my heart medication, which I will need for the rest of my life). And my poor husband.

Healing has affected every aspect of our relationship. He's been so patient and kind, holding my hand to get me through the hard times and taking over when I needed him to.

My girls don't see my suffering, but let's just be honest. They can sense it. I don't let them see my tears, I don't let them hear my cries. But I'm afraid that they know it's their and for that reason alone, I am so determined to HEAL.

My healing began at the beginning of June. From what I can tell, I am halfway there. I have more energy most days. I get more satisfaction out of work and I am learning that staying busy is the way to keep my focus off of feeling sick, and keeping my eyes on the bright days ahead. I will have setbacks, and I will have bad days.

But that's what FAITH is for. And one day, I know, He will come to me, and I like to think that He will say, "My beautiful princess, your faith has healed you. You will suffer no more." And though I do my best to rejoice in my suffering, I will rejoice in my peace! What a beautiful, beautiful day that will be.

Humbly His,
L.