Peace in Failure

I love the way my New Living Translation Bible defines peace.

"Peace (n) - a state of tranquility or quiet; a pact or agreement to end hostilities between those who have been at war or in a state of enmity; harmony in personal relations, especially with God; a state of security or order within a community; freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions."-NLT

Amen.

And again, I say amen.

I have failed miserably in my journey. But I am beginning to make peace with failing. Failing will be a part of my journey. I will stand up, skinned knees and all, pick the pebbles out of my palms, brush the dirt from my stained jeans, and begin walking forward again.

I have a new focus. A healthy me.

I started this blog wanting to discuss my anxiety, and I will absolutely continue to do so. It's the only way to have people REALLY accept me...those who want to, anyway. I also want to help others know that they are not alone - fighting those monsters in the dark. Either in the darkness of the night or the darkness of their mind.

I want to be healthy. I have been doing short 7 minute exercises guided by a new app on my phone. My goal by the end of this week to be doing these twice a day. Also, controlling my food intake. Ridding my body of sugar, ALL caffeine, getting back on my protein shakes - daily. And finally, and most importantly, prayer.

I've thought very hard about deleting my Facebook account for good, but there are so many I keep in contact with, if only to let them know that I am praying for them. It's a definite distraction, which is great for me. It keeps me closer to God, keeps my heart focused on Him and prayerful at all times. And it also lets me show off my beautiful girls and my way handsome husband (who is battling a head cold right now, bless his heart).

I want to keep giving, as well. As we say in the church - of my prayers, my presence, my gifts and my service. Let me know if you need any help.

I want to be like Matthew. I know that following Jesus includes suffering. My suffering may be my anxiety, my struggle.

Matthew was a tax collector - he gave that up to follow Jesus. I want to give up everything and follow Him. I want to be given new life.

Please be in prayer that my heart, first of all, always remains prayerful. Secondly, pray that I continue to exercise and make my body stronger. Lastly, pray that what I put in my body keeps my body at peaceful levels.

There are so many things to live for. But there is nothing without Him.

He is peace in my failures. He is The Grace.

Humbly His,
L.