My Beautiful Weekend

What a great weekend. Friday night, Miles and I went shopping to get ready for an overnight trip to Lake Burton. Of course, it's the first cold weekend of the year, so the girls and I were totally unprepared (I was pregnant this time last year). Thank the good Lord for a fantastic sale at GAP and some super cute clothes!

I put the girls to bed, and started getting ready. Sean and I were able to get some good sleep, as he had a night off from coaching. It was nice to have a Friday to watch TV and snuggle with him.

Saturday morning, the girls and I got up early, got baths and got on the road. The drive up was nothing short of beautiful. It has been too long since I have been to the North Georgia mountains, and to go some place as secluded as Lake Burton was fantastic. Our view was breathtaking, the mountains on the horizon, the water as clear as glass. You could seriously see straight to the bottom.

God's handiwork, for sure.

Lauren and Ashley are two of my best friends from Emory, and I am so blessed to have them in my life. We can go a year or more without seeing each other, but we are as close as ever when we are finally in each others company. (And they were so good with my girls, who can be a total handful!)

We did the "touristy" things - we went to Babyland General, and saw a baby boy Cabbage Patch being born. (Miles didn't want anything to do with that - total tomboy!) We then went to Helen and walked around. Of course, we had to go to the Hansel and Gretel candy store to get sweets, and then boiled peanuts. And we were totally cool with stopping and grabbing a bite to eat at the little "German" Wendy's (we all know Miles' food groups are french fries, cornbread, crowder peas and ice cream).

My favorite part of the evening was walking down to the boat ramp back at Lake Burton, and just staring at the sunset with two of my best friends, and the babies. God is so good.

Last night, we ate chili, cornbread and salad. Ash had to leave early to teach Sunday school this morning, so Lauren, Miles and I stayed up and just chatted.

I cannot tell you how nice it was to not have to worry about anything. No anxiety, no worries - just comfort with people who accept you and your babies as you are. Those that KNOW you.

The anxiety was back, though, in full force this morning, with a teething 11 month old (today!) and worries about getting home.

My anxiety is literally so bad, that I LOOK for the blue "H" signs to know that a hospital is near while I travel. Just in case something should happen. It literally breaks my heart that that is how I live my life. We got on the road around 11, and made really good time, but once I walked in the door, I felt the anxiety all over again.

I fed Maris, put her down for a nap, and put Miles in her room to rest. I tried to lie down with Sunday (our new "double doodle" - pics later!) but I just couldn't relax. Mema (God bless her) came over and sat with me for a bit, and her presence always helps me relax. Whenever she's here, I know that if anything should happen, my girls will be taken care of! And she will come at the drop of a hat!

Another way God has blessed me.

All of these blessings, and I still cannot let go of this anxiety.

I am still not quite sure I'm getting the help I need, my major problem being my heart racing first thing in the morning! I wake up every morning around 4 am to a heart rate of about 150 bpm. And it just sets me off for a bad day.

Please continue to keep me in your prayers. Pray that my heart just stops doing these crazy things in the mornings and that I am able to wake up without immediately having to take my beta blocker to calm it down. Pray that I can actually "Let Go, and Let God" without taking it all right back.

With such a beautiful weekend so fresh in my mind, I shouldn't be sitting here writing with tears stinging my eyes.

Thank you to Lauren and Ashley for bringing me such comfort and bringing my girls such joy this weekend.

And a continuous thanks to my husband who holds my hand and handles things around the house when I need to take a "time out" and just write.

And to Mema - thank you for just sitting.

Love to all of you, and a big hug to all of you who read and pray.

Humbly His -
L.

"Some Pharisees came to Jesus and said to him, "leave this place and go somewhere else. Herod wants to kill you." He replied, "Go tell that fox....I must keep going today and tomorrow and the next day."" (Luke 13:31-33)

I must keep going.