Self Improvement...Again

"The body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ." - Ephesians 4:12,13.

I have failed in my self improvement.

Don't get me wrong, my anxiety has been kept at bay, but I haven't quite stuck to my plan. My family has been much happier with me, but I have not been very happy with myself. It is all give and take, this awful disease. I wish it would go away.

Unfortunately, my anxiety has become medication induced. Fortunately, however, I'm going to speak with a doctor to see how I can handle this, as I want to clear my body of all medications. This appointment is on Tuesday, and I would appreciate all of the prayers that you will be willing to offer.

I guess this is the first time I've admitted on this blog that I take medication for anxiety. And it's all prescribed by a physician who I've been seeing for many years, and it's never been abused (I just feel the need to make that clear). I could be on it for the rest of my life, and it would be no big deal (except for decreasing my HDL cholesterol levels, and making me a little more "emotionless"). Once again - please don't judge.

I would love nothing more than to be free of this medication forever, and use the coping skills I've learned from my Life Coach to deal with my anxiety, such as deep breathing, prayer, meditation and distraction.

Unfortunately (I've used that word too many times, but it applies here), I am only able to see my Life Coach a couple of times per month, instead of once per week, because the fee is outrageous - totally not her fault, just the lovely mental health/insurance system for you.

I'm trying to reach out to God, to fill me up when I'm feeling empty. Lately, I've been so restless, feeling like I need more and more, while trying to declutter my life. I have not been praying as I should be. That will change, now.

I love how this blog keeps me intentional. I love how it helps me focus on self improvement, while also focusing on the One who will keep me on track. Without Him, nothing is possible, right?

So, please keep me in your prayers. Please pray for my maturity in Him. And please, especially, keep me in your prayers on Tuesday as I go and try to begin the process (once again) of getting off of this medication.

It's just not an easy thing to do.

Humbly His,
L.