When "Rest in Peace" Just Doesn't Suffice.

Broken hearted doesn't do what we feel justice. "Completely broken," maybe. I don't know.

It just hurts.

We lost our 9 year old bulldog last night at around 10:30. He was such a part of our family.

I remember the first time seeing Sean, since high school. I was newly divorced and we had recently reconnected on Facebook (imagine that). I had butterflies when I parked on the curb, right in front of his home. He was standing outside in the cool November air waiting on me. And there was his best friend sitting right beside him.

Champ. Also known as, Champman, Champer, Champadoodle, etc.

He was not your normal bulldog.

Nope. He was the most docile creature ever created.

When Sean and I first were married, Sean would leave for school in the morning and Champ would immediately paw at the bed. I would pick up the 65 lb dog and put him in the bed with me. He and Miles were my snuggle buddies.

That's another thing. Miles. She and Champ became buddies months before she even learned how to walk. She pulled up on him. She laid on him. She rode him. And he loved her right back.

Yesterday, at around 5:30, Sean found Champ in our backyard unable to move. He was snoring loudly, but just wouldn't wake up. Sean picked him up and put him on the back porch. Sean poured cool water all over him and tried to wake him. Nothing worked. At all.

I was running around inside trying to get things together to take to my mom's house - we were going to celebrate her birthday. I called for Sean, and finally looked for him outside. I found him sitting over Champs body. He told me to take the girls to my parents house, he was going to stay with Champ. I picked Miles up and brought her outside. I explained to her that it was time for Champ to go to Heaven, and be with Jesus. She said her "goodbyes" and kissed him, and we went on to my parents house.

While we were gone, Sean gently bathed Champ, willing him to open his eyes...just to wake up. He wouldn't.

Miles stayed with my parents and I arrived home, only to find Champ in more distress. He was struggling to breathe through his nose (which is difficult if you know the anatomy of a Bulldogs face) and his jaw was clenched, his tongue stuck between his gums. His right front leg was stiff, straight and unmoving. I shined a flash light into his eyes, checking for pupil reaction, and he tried to close his eyes. I knew he was still there mentally. It was obvious Champ had had a stroke.

In the past few weeks, we had come to the conclusion that Champ had a brain tumor, walking at an angle, staring off into space, becoming almost blind and deaf. And now the tumor had caused what I believed to be a stroke.

Sean's sister, her fiancé and I finally convinced Sean it was time to take him to the vet - that he should not suffer all night long. We met Sean's mom at St. Francis Animal Hospital and the veterinary technician ran to our car and pulled Champ out of the back. She rushed him straight to the doctor. Another vet tech came to us and told us it was time.

We were taken to a comfortable room with a couch and chairs and a chest. On that chest sat a picture of UGA VI. So fitting, for sweet Champ (Bailey). They rolled Champ (who had still not yet woken up) into the room, an IV already placed in his arm. We said our goodbyes, told him what a GREAT dog he had been, and how much we loved him. We took a picture of Maris sitting with Champ, since we did not have any of her and Champ together.

And the Veterinarian came in. She placed the medications into the IV, and Champ peacefully died.

We sat around ugly crying, me, Sean and his mom. But what else do you do, when you love someone SO much, and they leave? You ugly cry.

As I was walking our other bull pup, Jones, tonight I began thinking. This is not just a time to mourn. Of course we miss him to our cores. Our hearts hurt because we will never see him again. I will never  again hear Miles say, "Oh, you silly Champer."

But it's more about what is important in this life. Don't ever take one single day for granted. We are so blessed to have been given life. We should live life fully. I know, I know, it sounds so cliche, but why should we not? Are you stuck in a job you hate? Quit. Do something that you love. Are you so busy that you miss out on reading a book at night with your child? Slow down. You will never get these moments back. Make sure you tell your husband/wife that you love him/her. Over and over and over again. And mean it. Choose joy. Every. Second. Of. Your. Life.

Thanks Champ, for teaching me what it means to live my best life.

Have fun playing with Chris (Parker) tomorrow on his birthday.

And if you get a chance, thank Jesus for that big win over Troy, but also tell Him that we really need His hand this week against Tennessee. We will continue to watch over your little sister (Jarvis) Jones.

Go Dawgs.