Together

""Together" is a really good word. Together is what we need when we hit tough patches in life. Making decisions when life is making you cry shouldn't be done alone."-Lysa Terkeurst

Since I've begun writing about my troubles and anxieties, I've gained so much support. People from all around have offered kind words, small gifts and big hugs. And this has been such a learning season of my life.

It even seems, at times, that my girls are looking at me as I'm slowly breaking, and saying with their wide, soft blue eyes, "It's okay, Mama. You're human. We love you, anyway."

I do my best, that they not see my tears. But if they do see one or two fall, I think it's okay to let them know that, no, I'm not super mama. I'm going to yell. I'm going to fuss. And I'm going to punish. I'm also going to cry. But I will always love. And we will do this life "together."

My husband has had a rough year, losing both of his best friends in a matter of a few months. One human, one canine, both dear to his heart. We lose together. As I held his hand Saturday night on the way to the animal hospital, I told him that we are partners. We are there for each other. No matter what. But especially in times of loss.

He's been so loving to me, and so patient and kind. And tomorrow marks a big day for me. Another decrease in my medicine. I did better than expected with the first cut, and should know by Thursday or Friday how I will do with the second decrease. Whatever this second big day brings, I know my husband has my back. He will be there to help cook dinner, do dishes, bathe babies, run errands, read books. Whatever I need, we do this together.

I would be telling you a story if I said I wasn't nervous as I type these words. I'm scared of the headaches, the nausea, the ear ringing, the dizziness, the tremors, so on and so on. My days, excluding the loss of sweet Champ, have been so full of sweet children and fun dinners and laughter. I don't want to think about falling back into that deep, dark pit of anxiety.

But right now, with so much family and so many friends, and most importantly, God, I know I will not do this alone. We will do this together.

Humbly His,
L.